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Is your Body Image Only Positive When your Weight is Good?

May 15, 2023

“I’m ugly. I’m fat.” were the words I used to say to myself quite frequently. 

In fact, there was a kid that lived down my street. One day at the bus stop, he randomly said to me, “you’re ugly”. And for years, decades to be precise, those beliefs were etched into my system. I put so much weight on the words of a random neighbor kid. Sometimes that’s all it takes to form a false belief.  

For years, I sincerely thought I was ugly. Even when I received compliments, I wouldn’t say thank you. I would deny them or deflect them, because deep down, I couldn’t believe there was any beauty there. 

I also used to bash my belly and say all sorts of mean things about it, because I had a muffin top. You know, the protruding fat & skin over the waistline. Once I became more fit & healthy and living in Mauritius, all of that went away. I became “more confident”. For years, it seemed as if I “fixed” my body image insecurities. 

But then, came a few gray hairs. Then all of those insecurities came out of the woodwork. They weren’t actually gone! 

Those insecurities laid dormant because everything was seemingly acceptable on the outside. My beliefs inside were still quite vulnerable because my view of myself was linked to the outside! 

Luckily, I was able to detach from those things as part of my self image. You'll find out why below.

A positive body image shouldn’t be linked to crazy standards that we see on models, the youth, people of a certain weight, or...when we feel perfect. 

A positive body image is truly loving what your body does for you, and how it looks, on good days and bad days.  

A positive body image is thought to be linked to our weight, but true positive body image is linked to radical self love. What does that look like? Here are a few hints on how enhancing self love could affect the way you live:

  • If you’re hard on yourself, you're likely setting unreasonable standards. This isn't self love
  • If you don’t often fuel your body with the food that gives you energy, this is neglecting love to your body
  • If you push too hard everyday, by either working too much, or doing everything for everybody, but feel exhausted. Developing some self love will give you better energy so that you perform better and give out of love, not out of obligation.
  • If you only feel good about yourself when you get likes, positive comments, wear certain clothes, look a certain way, achieve a certain milestone, people are happy with you, and no criticism, then your self love might be shaky
  • If you have some toxic relationships, addictions, over-reactivity, and anxiety, then enhancing self love will allow you to honor your emotions in a healthier way

Come join me for my free meditation on Saturday May 20th at Mont Choisy Beach at 8:15am to have a nice chat about developing a positive body image, and ending with a relaxing meditation. Contact me to join!

Otherwise, after reading the above, if you feel like you can use enhancement in this arena, contact me ([email protected]) for further support. Live in Mauritius or zoom from anywhere in the world. 

To your heart & health span,

Lindsay Kassem

Health & Mindset Coach

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